Thursday, December 16, 2010

Crossover with Smug Christmas Letters

Dear Friends,

Whew! What a breath-taking year it's been for all of us!! Once again, we've been busy, busy, busy, and we've hardly got the time to put pen to paper!!

Macbeth got a promotion at work this year! Though he started the year as Thane of Glamis, soon enough he was Thane of Cawdor, and then he became King of Scotland after Duncan died quite accidentally and unexpectedly in his sleep by smothering himself with a pillow and then stabbing himself several times! Bad luck for Duncan, but good luck for us, right? I like to think that behind every good man there's a woman encouraging him, and I did my best to encourage Macbeth to be a real "go-getter" this year, and look at the dividends that paid off!

Mrs. Danvers was worried about Lady MacDuff's heirs being a problem, but I gave her a wink and said, "Maybe something she drinks will disagree with her!" and we both laughed and laughed. Keep it to yourself - this kind of thing is supposed to be hush-hush!!!

The whole thing didn't quite go to plan, as those pesky witches and Hecate tried to spoil it for us by filling Macbeth's head with all kinds of paranoia about Banquo, knowing FULL WELL how superstitious he is. Little did Hecate know that my charming husband met Banquo in the Speakeasy Bar right after and they were able to work out whatever problems they had between them. Why, just the other night at dinner Banquo showed up completely unannounced!! He looked a little worse for wear - Macbeth or I would NEVER show up at someone's house with blood all over our face, but to each their own! After all, it is CHRISTMASTIME and I'm sure Mary and Joseph weren't "dressed to the nines" in that manger, either! LOL!

In the meantime, Stanley has taken up operating elevators, and he's gotten pretty good at it! I'm so glad he's found his calling, and getting around the school has been a BREEZE lately now that he can take me from floor to floor. I wish he'd stop singing that "Let's misbehave" song to me, but that's a minor complaint for a MAJOR convenience!!

We've had some new additions to our family this year, too! Nicki Minaj showed up unexpectedly, and she's just been a hoot! Why, just the other night she came into my bedroom shouting, "WHY WON'T YOU PEOPLE LET ME LEAVE?!?!" LOL! I assume that must be one of her new rap songs. Her album with Steampunk Dinosaur, "Doin Thangs", topped the R&B chart for 11 straight weeks!!!!

PHEW!!! That's just about it from us. Hope you had a good year, too. I have to go wash this spot off of my hand. I wonder how it got there??! A CHRISTMAS MYSTERY!!!

Blissfully yours,

Queen Lady Macbeth of Scotland

Crossover with Secret Santa

hecate and macduff discuss sleep no more secret santa

Wednesday, December 1, 2010

Crossover with Uncanny X-Men Issue #207

(Note: Click the images to enlarge and read)

Monday, November 22, 2010

Tuesday, November 9, 2010

Crossover with Rumors About a New Production of "Sleep No More"

One question that comes up a lot here at the Sleep No More Crossover Fan Fiction Blog is, "Will 'Sleep No More' ever be staged again?" And if so, will there be any changes to the show?

Well, we've done some digging regarding some possible changes, and have learned the following:

1. Taking more cues from the work of David Lynch, the Manderley Bar will have the Frank Booth character from "Blue Velvet" as its bartender. If you order a Heineken he will scream "Heineken! Fuck that shit!" and then hand you a Pabst Blue Ribbon. You will still be charged a Heineken price.

2. The rave scene will remain mostly unchanged, but it'll segue into "Every Rose Has Its Thorn" by Poison instead of "Moonlight Becomes You"

3. Mrs. Danvers is going to be joined by a "Task Force Housekeeping" crew that includes Mammy from "Gone with the Wind", Alice from "The Brady Bunch", Tony Micelli from "Who's the Boss", and Jarvis from the Avengers comic books. The five of them will join together, Voltron-like, to form Mr. Belvedere in one scene.

4. The Hamburgler is another new character. His one-on-one consists entirely of an audience member being dragged into a room while he whispers "Robble, robble, robble" in his or her ear. Also, if the audience member has any hamburgers on them then those hamburgers, it should go without saying, will be burgled.

5. One planned new room is called "Macbeth's Video Arcade", and in there you can play the arcade classics "Mousetrap" and "Cloak and Dagger" (you must provide your own quarters) - Macbeth has a fight with the Hamburgler in this room that is scored to "Pac-Man Fever"

6. The Speakeasy Bartender will do an impersonation of Redd Foxx from "Sanford and Son", and if she beats you at cards she calls you "Dummy" over and over until you leave. Additionally, some of the big scenes in this bar are now scored to the "Sanford and Son" theme. I know that sounds silly right now but I'm told it works BRILLIANTLY.

7. The Second Mrs. De Winter has a new one-on-one scene that consists of her reciting the speech Bill Pullman gives near the end of "Independence Day", and before she leads you out of the one-of-one she puts your mask on and whispers "Welcome to Earth" in your ear.

That's all we've heard so far. It sounds pretty exciting!

Thursday, November 4, 2010

Crossover with Kathy Acker's "Blood and Guts in High School"

So the swallows...

So the swallows came back to Capistrano, whispering of their own events, fluttering loudly over Lady Macbeth's grave in the grey Saba Pacha cemetery in Manderley.

Soon many other Lady Macbeths were born and these Lady Macbeths covered the earth.

Blood and guts in an abandoned school
That is all I know
Witches teachers MacDuffs
All have got to go

Some folks like plots,
Yet, here's a spot!
I like the way you move your hips
All I want is a taste of your lips,
boy,
And for you to murder Duncan so I can be Queen of Everything