Crossover with an Oral History

Lady Macbeth: If I didn't nudge Macbeth towards acheivement, he'd still be in his parents' basement playing fucking Nintendo. He's got a lot of talent and ability, but almost no ambition. Some people may say that makes me a controlling bitch. That's such sexist crap.

Macbeth: Lady Macbeth was more excited by this whole King prophesy than I was. I was on the fence, or I figured 'Hey, if it's prophesised to happen then I should just sit back and wait for it to happen.' Que sera sera, you know?

Lady Macbeth: I remember things were tense. I'd been getting on Macbeth to murder Duncan so he could become king, which in retrospect was kind of a mistake.

Duncan: I knew the Macbeths were up to something. Macbeth was a pretty good guy, but his wife always seemed to be working the angles. I wasn't sure why they decided to throw that banquet.

Lady Macbeth: The banquet was my idea. I figured there was no way my husband could get to Duncan at his own castle, so I'd throw a banquet in Duncan's honor.

Macbeth: The invite list got a little out of control.

Lady Macbeth: We don't socialize much, and the witches always seemed nice, so I figured WHY NOT invite them?

Long-Haired Witch: I remember when we got the invite. We never get invited to anything, because of anti-occult sentiment or whatever. I was really excited.

Bald Witch: Of course we were going to go. Putting things in motion for Macbeth to kill Duncan was our idea in the first place. Hecate was a little miffed that she didn't get an invitation.

Hecate: Lady Macbeth didn't want anyone there who was better-dressed than her. That's the only explanation I can think of. I wouldn't have gone to their stupid banquet anyway.

Banquo's Ghost: I had just assumed that my invitation was lost in the mail. Macbeth and I had gotten into a fight in the Speakeasy, and I wasn't entirely sure why we were on the outs, and he killed me and everything so I thought, "I'll be the better man. I'll make the first gesture and show up at the banquet so that there are no hard feelings." Maybe that makes me a party crasher.

Male Witch: Honestly, the banquet was pretty boring UNTIL Banquo's Ghost showed up. Duncan kept standing up and bells would ring, and the Macbeths would look menacingly across the table at each other, and I was bored out of my mind. Also, MacDuff kept trying to talk politics.

MacDuff: I was fired up about the new tax policy, and I wanted to talk about it. What's wrong with some honest discussion around a dinner table?

Lady MacDuff: He's always doing that. It's embarrassing as hell. I was relieved when Banquo's Ghost showed up, because everyone stopped paying attention to what a jackass my husband was being.

Banquo's Ghost: Once I actaully arrived I thought, 'Oh, well, maybe this was a mistake.' Macbeth's facial expression just turned to abject horror. I suppose if I had just killed someone five minutes before and they'd shown up at my banquet I'd have reacted the same way. Being newly dead, I suppose my capacity for reason had momentarily flown the coop.

Male Witch: Once Banquo's Ghost showed up, I thought that it was time to kick the party up to the next level. I suggested playing Apples to Apples, but Bald Witch said we should all make out with each other in slow motion.

Macbeth: I just freaked out. I had just killed this guy, and then he shows up at my banquet as if everything is cool between us. I was unhappy, and I don't think I was very successful at hiding it.

Lady Macbeth: With Banquo's Ghost freaking my husband out, the party needed an icebreaker. THANK GOD the witches turned it into a free-form slow-motion orgy.

Long-Haired Witch: That TOTALLY broke the ice. After we all started making out, I felt like we could relax. But Lady Macbeth just started insisting everyone leave the room. Right when the party was getting good.

Lady Macbeth: I just thought that if Macbeth was going to be consumed by guilt, it needed to happen BEFORE he killed Duncan. I needed to get him away from Banquo's Ghost as soon as possible, so I cut the evening short. I know that makes me a bad hostess, but I went suicidally insane shortly after that so I don't dwell on it too much. There's a spot.

The Second Mrs. De Winter: There was a banquet?