Three witches are in a the Speakeasy drinking-place at ten o'clock at night. "My Man" is playing. Behind the counter is a Speakeasy bartender. The three witches are a little cockeyed.MALE WITCH You tried the rum punch?
LONG-HAIRED WITCH No, I ain't tried it.
MALE WITCH You better try it.
LONG-HAIRED WITCH All right, Speakeasy Bartender, we'll have a round of the rum punch.
SPEAKEASY BARTENDER Here you are, ladies and gentleman. You'll
like that. (He sets down three glasses and collects six dollars total. The witches, being evil, do not tip.) That's a nice bit of rum punch.
MALE WITCH Have a drink of it yourself. (He turns to the
third witch, who has a shaved head and is scowling) What's the matter with you?
BALD WITCH I got a gut-ache.
LONG-HAIRED WITCH You've been drinking water.
MALE WITCH Try some of the rum punch.
BALD WITCH I can't drink the damn stuff. It makes my
gut sour.
MALE WITCH You been out here too long.
BALD WITCH Hell, don't I know it?
MALE WITCH Say, Speakeasy Bartender, can't you give this bald witch something to fix up her stomach?
SPEAKEASY BARTENDER I got it right here.
(The Bald Witch tastes the cup that the Speakeasy Bartender has mixed for her)
BALD WITCH Hey, what you put in that, that shit Mrs. Danvers uses?
SPEAKEASY BARTENDER You drink that right down, Baldy.
That'll fix you up right.
BALD WITCH Well, I couldn't feel any worse.
MALE WITCH Take a chance on it. Speakeasy Bartender fixed me up fine the other day.
SPEAKEASY BARTENDER You were in bad shape. I know what fixes up a bad stomach.
(The Bald Witch drinks the cup down)
BALD WITCH Great Galloping Macbeths! (She makes a face)
LONG-HAIRED WITCH Don't say the name of the Scottish Play!
BALD WITCH: The Scottish play we're in? I don't think it counts if you're in the play.
MALE WITCH Oh, I don't know. He was pretty good in there to-day.
LONG-HAIRED WITCH 'Why didn't he come down off the noose?'
MALE WITCH He didn't want to come down off the noose.
That's not his play.
BALD WITCH I thought it was his play?
MALE WITCH Shut up.
LONG-HAIRED WITCH Show me a guy that doesn't want to come
down off the noose.
MALE WITCH Aw, hell, you don't know anything about it.
Ask Speakeasy Bartender there. Did he want to come down off the noose, Speakeasy Bartender?
SPEAKEASY BARTENDER I'll tell you, my witchy chums, I wasn't out there. It's a thing I haven't taken any interest in.
LONG-HAIRED WITCH Listen, I seen a lot of them here and plenty of other places. Any time you show me one that doesn't want to get down off the noose when the time comes, I mean I'll climb right up with him.
MALE WITCH I thought he was pretty good in there to-day.
BALD WITCH He was all right.
LONG-HAIRED WITCH You guys don't know what I'm talking
about. I'm not saying whether he was good or not. What
I mean is, when the times comes. When MacDuff first jumped on his back, there isn't none of them wouldn't stop it if
they could.
MALE WITCH Didn't you follow it, Speakeasy Bartender?
SPEAKEASY BARTENDER No, I didn't take any interest in it. Read too many spoilers on the internet.
MALE WITCH I was surprised how he acted.
BALD WITCH The part I don't like is the bird noises.
You know, that must get to you pretty bad. Is that another Hitchcock allusion? It's hard to keep track.
LONG-HAIRED WITCH It isn't that that's so bad, as when they first lift 'em up. (She makes a lifting gesture with her two palms together) When the weight starts to pull on 'em. That's when it get's 'em.
BALD WITCH It takes some of them pretty bad.
MALE WITCH Ain't I seen 'em? I seen plenty of them. I tell
you, he was pretty good in there to-day.
(The Long-Haired Witch smiles at the SPEAKEASY BARTENDER)
LONG-HAIRED WITCH You're a regular Macbeth fan.
MALE WITCH Sure, go on and kid her. But listen while I
tell you something. He was pretty good in there to-day.
LONG-HAIRED WITCH What about some more rum punch?
(The SPEAKEASY BARTENDER looks up expectantly. The BALD WITCH
is sitting with her head down. She does not look well)
BALD WITCH I don't want any more.
LONG-HAIRED WITCH Just for two, Bartender.
(The SPEAKEASY BARTENDER puts out a pitcher of rum punch, a size smaller than the last one. She leans forward on the counter.)
SPEAKEASY BARTENDER Witches, you know I got to close.
MALE WITCH We'll have one more round.
LONG-HAIRED WITCH What's the use? This stuff don't get you
anywhere. Come on, let's go.
MALE WITCH Just another round.
BALD WITCH (getting up from the table) No, come on. Let's
go. I feel like hell to-night. If I don't get Hecate her Frusen Gladje by midnight she's going to turn me into a racoon or something.
MALE WITCH Just one more.
LONG-HAIRED WITCH No, come on. We're going to go. Goodnight,
Speakeasy Bartender. Put it on the bill.
(The three WITCHES go out the door into the street.
Outside in the street)
BALD WITCH Come on, let's head back to the Replica Bar. I feel
like hell to-night.
LONG-HAIRED WITCH You been out here too long.
BALD WITCH No, it ain't just that. I feel like hell.
LONG-HAIRED WITCH You been out here too long. That's all.
CURTAIN
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