Crossover with a Civil War Re-Enactment

“Banquo!” MacDuff shouted, trying to cast his voice over the sounds of gunfire. Banquo, looked over at him, dazed, a bloodied bandage wrapped around his head. “Stay there, I’ll be right over!” MacDuff looked around. The Confederate Army re-enactors were engaged in a mock bayonet battle with a cadre of Union re-enactors. MacDuff raced across the auditorium to where Banquo was standing.

“What happened to you?” MacDuff shouted. Banquo stared at him blankly. “Use the other ear, I can’t hear out of this one!” Banquo shouted back. The sounds of a giant explosion pierced the auditorium as an unloaded cannon went off; the two men ducked instinctively, and then MacDuff went around to Banquo’s other side. “I said, what – happened – to – you!” MacDuff shouted. “Did one of those guys actually hit you in the head?”

“No!” Banquo shouted back. “I was in the Second Mrs. De Winter’s room! She was giving me a cup of tea! Remember that scene? One of my favorites! Anyway, Confederate soldiers came in and barricaded the door to fend off an overwhelming Union force! I left through the side door into that room full of hair, and I was so dizzy that I tripped over the hair and hit my head on a desk! Some Union medical re-enactors saw me and bandaged me up!”

MacDuff tried to reply, but several more cannons went off, and the Confederate rebel yell was heard as a large team of re-enactors came leaping off the stage to charge into the ongoing make-believe fray. “What did you say?” shouted Banquo.

“I said I have to get downstairs for my scene with the dark-haired witch! But there’s a Union blockade at both stairwells, and my gray pants are making them think I’m with the other team!” Banquo stared at him blankly again, until finally he said “I guess we’ll have to shoot them!”

“What?” asked MacDuff.

“I said I guess we’ll have to shoot them!”

“No, I heard that! I meant, what do you mean?”

Banquo pointed to some period rifles lying beside the bodies of fallen re-enactors. “We need to pick up some of their rifles and then convince the actors at one of the blockades that we’ve shot them!” MacDuff nodded. “All right, let’s go!” he shouted. “Grab two,” said Banquo, “I think Malcolm’s stuck across the hall!”

As the two of them dodged through the embattled room to retrieve some rifles, MacDuff turned to Banquo and said, “I can’t believe we all agreed to do Sleep No More: The Sequel without reading the fucking script first!”