Crossover with a physics test

1. Duncan is laying in a bed that is 2.5 meters long, 2 meters wide, and 1 meter tall. He has a mass of 80 kilograms. Beside him is a pillow measuring 16 inches wide, 10 inches long, and four inches thick. The pillow’s mass is 6 ounces. Solve for MUUURRRDDDEERRRR.


2. This is a three part question.
   
   
   1. Lady MacDuff is climbing up a bookcase in her room. The bookcase is 3 meters tall. Her mass is 45 kilograms. Calculate her potential energy. (Hint: it's 1324.35 Joules)
      
   
   
   2. Once upon the bookcase, which is 1 meter from the ceiling, Lady MacDuff begins to rub a small statuette of the Virgin Mary. The statuette is a foot and a half tall and weighs 16 pounds. She rubs it at a rate of 5 rubs per second. How long will you watch her do this?
   
   
   • Extra Credit: How long will it take for her to rub the statue into nonexistence? Is there a curse associated with doing this? Seriously, is there? Because I did that once, and if there’s a curse, I need to do something about it immediately. No, really. I rubbed a sacred statue into nonexistence. Of course, this was in the seventies, so it might have been a hallucination, but I’ve been having some wicked flashbacks, man. Some really wicked flashbacks.
   
   
   3. MacDuff enters the room and climbs the bookcase. His mass is 70 kilograms. The MacDuffs begin to perform an intense dance atop the bookcase, rolling and writhing past one another in the small, cramped space between the top of the bookcase and the ceiling. How fucking cool is that?
   
   
3. Macbeth and Banquo are fighting at the bottom of a stairwell. Macbeth hurls Banquo (75 kilograms) against the wall with an acceleration of 3 meters per second squared. Banquo presses his feet into the wall and hurls himself back. Assume that momentum is really, astonishingly, incredibly well-conserved. Who wins the fight?


4. Hecate can eat a one-pound container of Frusen Glädjé ice cream at a rate of 3.2 bites per minute. Detail your assumptions on the size of one Hecate-bite in your answer. How many trips will the male witch have to make to the convenience store to buy more? Assume that Hecate can eat whatever she wants, whenever she wants, without ever becoming full, gaining weight, or changing her figure, by MAGIC.


5. You are reading the Sleep No More Crossover Fan Fiction blog. Thanks!


6. You are in a room with Malcolm. He is holding a giant magnifying glass between his face and yours and is screaming at you about signs and omens. His face appears roughly twice as large as normal. Before the lights in the room go out, assume that the wavelength of light is 550 nanometers. Are you:


1. Having fun


2. Freaking out


3. Contemplating the deeper meaning behind his actions as they relate to either Shakespeare’s Macbeth, Hitchcock’s Rebecca, or your own troubled existence


4. All of the above