Tuesday, August 31, 2010

Crossover with "Princess Mononoke"

"You know," said Macbeth to his wife, "I've been having some really complicated thoughts regarding nature."

As Macbeth said the word 'nature', he gestured out to the forest, where the trees were currently being moved by the witches.

Macbeth continued.

"And how our industrialization has affected nature. Did you know that before the Old Lincoln School was built it lay atop a beautiful forest? Not those half-dozen Christmas trees that the witches are moving around to simulate Great Birnam Wood coming to Dunsinane, but giant majesestic trees!"

Lady Macbeth could not hear her husband, because she'd just been stabbed to death by San, a girl raised by giant talking wolves.

San then stabbed Macbeth.

"That's for nature!", San yelled.

The witches looked up.

"Hey!", shouted the Male Witch. "We had a whole thing planned! Dancing to some Glenn Miller tunes, then a banquet with slow-motion face-sucking, then a naked rave! It all hinged on that guy!"

Ashitaka entered the auditorium riding on his gazelle or whatever.

"I need to broker a peace between the forest and the witches!", Ashitaka shouted.

The Bald Witch stared at Ashitaka and thought, "Plan B." Then she transmitted this thought to the other witches using MAGIC.

"All hail Ashitaka!", the Long-Haired Witch said. "Thane of Glamis!"*

"All hail Ashitaka!", the Male Witch said. "Thane of Cawdor!"*

"All hail Ashitaka!", Bald Witch said. "Who shall be king!"*

I guess you can see where this is going.

* They didn't actually say the words, per se. They danced around a table with a playing card instead. But the intent was there.

Monday, August 2, 2010

Crossover with Rhyming Couplets Involving Centaurs

Centaurs are half-man, half-horse!
Are centaurs cool? I say 'of course!'

When centaurs came to 'Sleep No More'
Their hooves galloped across the floor!

One centaur almost tripped mid-prance,
trying to hurdle the door dance.

One centaur said his favorite bit
was the witches doing crazy shit!

"Holy cow," the centaur neighed.
"The strobe light scene gets a high grade!"

The strangest part, the centaur wrote:
"One witch was half-man, half-goat!"